Sharon Olds " Sex Without Love"

How do they do it, the ones who make love without love? This is how we are introduced to Sharon Olds poem," Sex Without Love." The speaker or poet,questions how do people have sexual intercourse without love being present. This is a common thing going on in our modern day society which doesn't really get contested if you aren't a religious person. I can see how this question could baffle someone. In our society, the attitudes when it comes to sex are more liberated and not everyone believes that in order to have sex with another person, they have to be in love and the whole nine yards. Olds is showing us how people can separate themselves emotionally from the physical part of having sex.Olds views on this are that she finds it ironic that people can do this. she actually says in her stanza:

"How do they do it, the ones who make love without love?
Beautiful as dancers, gliding over each other like ice- skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside eachother's bodies, faces
red as steak,wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away.How do they come to the come to the come to the God come to the still waters, and not love the one who came there with them,"

Here we see Olds asking how do people do it? how do they have sex without love? how can they do something so beautiful as make love without loving one another. How can two people have this kind of physical contact or get to sharing in eachother's worlds without sharing the emotion of love with eachother? She compares the act of lovemaking to that of " beautiful dancers," who are " gliding over eachother like ice-skaters over the ice,"
She goes on to say that their faces are "red," as steak and that they are " wet" as " wine. Olds describes everything two lovers are doing to be looked at in a loving way but with words clearly questions these lovers intentions if not love then how are they allowing themselves to share this experince with someone who they do not love. In a few lines down Olds answers her own questions with the next stanza that says:
" These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros,the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners:they know they are alone."

Here I feel like Olds is saying these people that can seperate emotional from the physical, they know what they are doing. These people can separate themselves, emotionally/spiritually from what's going on in the flesh, the physical. They don't allow themselves to get caught up in "love," and how it should be the guiding standard to whether they have sex or not. Olds says " they will not accept a flase Messaiah, love the priest instead of the God." Here Olds is saying that these people are loving the physical, the flesh and not the spiritual or emotional that would connect to God. It isn't love in divinty these people are looking for but just to enjoy the sexual pleasure and they know they are alone. "They are great runners, they know they are alone," is the closing line to the poem. Olds is comparem these people to great runners, they are running from the emotional they are great at what they are doing and they know that they themselves are alone in the run for pleasure over love and pleasure.
This is common in society. Many people don't want to get involves with "love," when it comes to having sex. Some people are more liberated and believe in sex before marriage, or having sex with no strings attached or even one night stands. These are all relatively modern attiudes when it comes to that of the topic of sex.I think that society, when it comes to media doesn't send the right messages to the youth or to people in making good desicions when it comes to having sex. I feel like the media,sends out the wrong messages to young minds having them believe that the overtly sexual videos, songs, and commercial ads, are the attitudes they should be having when it comes to having sex. I think that's why there are so many young teenage pregnancies as well, or children born out of wedlock. People aren't practicing the right or moralistic attitutes they should have when thinking about having sex. In religion, sex is viewed as something holy or that it should take place with someone you love or are in fact going to marry. It shouldn't happen before marriage actually. You can see here how what religion expects of people and the modern society today conflict with eachother on the topic of having sex. I feel that this poem was a great poem and can open your mind to different views and thoughts when it comes to the topic of sex. The poet used very good irony and wordplay full of texture. It was explicit in its nature of language where it described the act of sex. The poet shares an intimacy with the audience with the language.